She never told them

2004-10-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

September 19, 2004

She never told them …

that she has a husband, Nicolas, and a two and a half year old son named Santiago. That is why when she sees Carl and Tom interact, her heart secretly melts. She’s so far away from her two boys that it hurts.

Carl’s death has overwhelmed her, it being her first real experience with death. It is part of the job they say… but she has too much heart to accept that fact. He was an extraordinary man, who had an extraordinary relationship with his kids. She once told him that she has great respect for him because he has brought up children with good hearts. Of course being Carl, he teased that it is because of him that they are tough yet kind.

Although she never questioned it, she used to wonder why God gave her the opportunity to care for the elderly. Somehow she always knew that there was a purpose. Now she finally knows it is so she can be part of other people’s life and they can be part of hers. And that to her, is in itself, gratifying and rewarding.

It has awakened many repressed issues she has had with her own father. And so in a way, she is envious of Carl and Tom. She knows for sure that they probably had their problems too. But for her to see such understanding, humility, love and forgiveness they shared with each other especially in the last moments made her heart swell with respect for them… also, swell with hope that there’s still room for forgiveness in her heart for her father. And also hope that she and her husband will be able to be good and loving parents to their children. Who in return may give as much love and care to them when the time comes, as Tom and Pat, did Carl.

Ironically in spite of the great loss and its sadness, she has been revived by this experience. Learning that she had always been correct in holding on to her belief that there is Hope in kindness… that Love conquers all, and that Forgiveness is the way.

For these lessons I thank Carl, Tom and Pat. They will be forever in my heart.

Ava Cathrina V. Tiongson

her first time

She never told them